“I know I’m late. But I don’t feel like I’m being productive or that I’ve achieved my goals unless I’m rushing and at least a half-hour late for each appointment,” said my client as he burst through the door and sprinted past me toward our conference room.

My internal reaction was: Well, Vic, you must feel a great sense of accomplishment today! He had arrived one and a half hours past our scheduled appointment time. Although I didn’t share his philosophy, something in his behavior rang a bell with me. Perhaps I was in awareness-mode, because several weeks later I admitted my own workaholic lifestyle. I was burned-out and wanted to change.

Slowly I began to understand that the narrower definition of a workaholic is someone who is addicted to action. An action addict (like Vic and me) is driven to do too much, expect too much, rush too much and prove too much. Some refer to it as the “hurry sickness.” It can happen to either gender, yet Dr. Brent W. Bost, an obstetrician-gynecologist in Beaumont, Texas estimates that there are 30 million women in America who are so over-scheduled and over-stressed that it negatively affects their physical health, sex life, jobs, and relationships.

The next time someone gives you the ultimate compliment for an action-addict: “You’re so busy. How do you do it all?” consider letting that be a signal to STOP. The antidote to action-addiction is to cease doing for a while. Be quiet. Rest. It will feel wrong. Your body, mind and emotions tell you that you must keep going. 

This advice to cease doing for a while reminds me of Psalm 46:10 in The Message: “[Stop!] Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”

Experts insist that this is a vital step, just as it is important for the alcoholic-addicted person to stop drinking. Your body needs to detox from the chemicals aroused by your constant action. It will be quite difficult--and so worth it. For more information about action-addiction watch for next week's blog “Are You an Adrenaline Junkie?”


What would it take for you to STOP for a while?

Yesterday was "Fight Procrastination Day" and I procrastinated in posting this blog to my site. Does that mean I put the "PRO" in procrastination? 

The dictionary indicates that to procrastinate means to defer action, to delay until an opportunity is lost. Dr. Ellis, a counselor who specializes in the issue of procrastination, defines procrastination as deciding to do something and then not doing it.  

Now, I want to clarify something. Delay and procrastination are not the same thing. There may be a legitimate reason for a delay. Procrastination is "to delay until it is too late."   

For example, say you received the brochure for a conference related to your field of interest. You read it, the workshops looked beneficial to you and you made the decision to go. But then you set the info aside and put off following through by calling to ask your questions, checking your calendar and registering...until it was too late. Then the day of the conference arrived and the opportunity was gone. You missed it.   

If this is your modus operandi and you really want to do it differently, there is hope. You can change. 

1. Decide you don't want to live this way anymore. Acknowledge your need to someone who will listen and help you stay accountable.
2. Discover and admit the misconceptions that lead to your procrastination. (For example: I've got to do perfectly or not at all.)
3. Replace your misconception with the truth. (For example: Perfection on this earth is not possible. Only God is perfect. I need only do the best I can at any given time and even that might fluctuate.)
4. As a Christian, you can then surrender the entire journey to God and trust that He is able to guide you through the changing process.
5. Remain committed to your decision for new habits and attitudes. Keep walking through the fear that often accompanies any unfamiliar process of positive change.

And here are 10 practical tips for ceasing to put the "PRO" in procrastination. (Not in order of importance)

•   Accept (or start) a new major project only when you have released an existing one.
•   Set mini-goals when working on an extended project. Some call it "chunk-a-sizing." Then the entire long-term goal      does not hang over your head continually.
  
•   Stop the negative thought patterns that throws the "misconception" in your face. Develop a system that works for    you.
•   Delegate the workload.
•   Become friends with "time."
•   Ask questions. Ask for help. Then accept it. 
•   Cultivate a support system.
  
•   Learn to say "no" as well as "yes."
  
•   Remember that less is sometimes more.
  
•   Recognize and accept your limitations. (Even Jesus couldn't be in two places at once while here on this earth.) 
  

Which tip will you try this week?

More and more I talk with people in my coaching, mentoring, and every day life who are realizing that striving and working all the time (to be the best parent, to constantly reach for full potential for yourself and your family, to get more clients and make more money, to help others with very little time to refuel) is not what God had in mind when we made us with the capability to work. There is more to life.

Life includes:

• enjoying nature, 
  
• pursuing hobbies, 
  
• developing talents, 
  
• deepening relationships,
  
• serving others, and 
  
• knowing and enjoying God. 

LIFE is worth living for. So this weekend, how about STOPPING the work for a little while to focus on one of the life's enjoyments listed above. What do you choose? Whatever it is, have fun!

You want to pray with me? God, teach me the meaning of life with its balance of labor, rest, and enjoyment. Slow me down to listen. I know "It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work my worried fingers to the bone. I know You enjoy giving rest [and LIFE] to those You love. (Prayer based on Psalm 127:1-2 in The Message)

It's the weekend! Maybe this means you're taking a break from work. Maybe not. 

In my experience as a life coach, speaker/teacher/trainer, and mentor, I've noticed that many people struggle with issues related to work and service. It matters not if they're an executive, nurse, homeschooler, ministry volunteer or a young parent. Even medical exerts agree that there's an "action-addiction" epidemic.

In her book Working Ourselves to Death, author Diane Fassel maintains that though action-addicts (another name for workaholics) work, serve, or rush a great deal, they aren't always working. 

• There's the “work anorexic” who is afraid she’ll make a mistake, so she procrastinates and then feels so guilty that she’s immobilized.
• There's the “work binger” who works in high-intensity spurts that become his method of medicating life’s disappointments.
• Then there is the most noticeable workaholic; the “obsessive worker,” who accepts project after project, working long hours to ensure that it all gets done right, and everyone is helped and pleased.

Yet, even Jesus--who came to earth to do the most important work of all--said "no" sometimes. (Check out Luke 8:26-38 & Mark 5:18-20) 

The truth is: Your work & service (whether it's in the office, in the home, on the field or at church) don't have to be relentless or perfect to be significant, meaningful and productive. :-) 

I find that such a relief. What about you?

What kind of a worker are you?

"When you burn both ends of a candle, it may produce twice as much light, but the candle burns out twice as fast,” writes Myron Rush in his book, Burnout. “People experiencing burnout suddenly discover that all of their mental, emotional and physical energies have been consumed." This was true for me. I managed my family of two teenagers and developed my company into a million dollar endeavor, yet felt like a walking dead person.

"I've fried my brain,” I said. “I'll never be the same." Yet I’m a grateful burnout survivor—along with others who have learned to stop burning the candle at both ends. How’d we do it?

1. After admitting our need, we asked for help. I went to a counselor and my medical doctor for direction. Others hired a life coach, joined a support group, acquired a caring mentor, or met with a spiritual leader.
2. We got away from the source of the fire and gave ourselves permission and time to heal. Eventually I left my business and started a new career. Others took a much-needed extended vacation, a lighter class load, obtained assistance with family responsibilities, or removed themselves from abusive situations.
3. We discovered the misconceptions that fueled our unrealistic expectations—and replaced them with the truth. Sample fallacy: whenever there is a need, I should fill it. Truth: I like to help and problem-solve, but most people have the ability to resolve their own dilemmas. I may rob them of self-respect when I constantly take over. We’ll both experience more freedom when I back off occasionally.
4. We stayed committed to personal/spiritual growth and healthy self-care methods such as exercise, journaling and rest breaks.

No matter where you are in your challenging recovery remember this: There is life beyond burnout!

This post is #4 in a four week blog series on BURNOUT.

• Week 1: Are You Burning Out? (Maybe It's Compassion Fatigue) includes short questionnaire. If you answer yes to several questions, you might be playing with fire. But awareness is an important step toward recovery.
  
• Week 2: When Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Burned Out (Definition of Burnout)
  
• Week 3: Stop Living Like You're on Fire - List of burnout symptoms and strategies for escaping burnout.
  

I'm curious: Do you think that BURNOUT really happens? And who do you think tends to be susceptible? 

(This blog series is adapted from a series of short online articles that I wrote for Genius Ave.)