# 1. Accept that others see life differently than you do and that you don't need to change for them or they for you!
You enjoy sitting and staring at the sky; your sister would rather climb a mountain. You cry at movies; your best friend doesn’t. Your spouse talks with anyone he/she meets; you prefer taking time to know someone first. Mom gives solutions immediately;  you like mulling over options before solving a dilemma.
It’s easy to jump to conclusions when another doesn’t think or act as you do. Yet when you suspend judgment and accept others’ differences, you can begin to release some of your relationship-anxiety. ("Don’t jump to conclusions—there may be a perfectly good explanation for what you just saw.") Proverbs 25:8 The Message
#2. Resolve to learn to love yourself as God loves you.  
As you grow to accept yourself, you will probably be able to more readily accept the idiosyncrasies of others. If you have learned to forgive yourself, you’re likely to find you can more easily forgive someone else. When you’re patient with yourself, you feel more tolerant toward your loved ones. When you learn to be kind to yourself, you gain courage to stand up for yourself and create healthy boundaries.
God loves you and enjoys watching you become the person He designed you to be. Self-respect increases as you stay committed to gaining a heart of wisdom, acceptance, and love for others and yourself. This accepting attitude splashes onto your relationships and becomes a grateful and less-anxious way to live.  ("To get wisdom is to love oneself; to keep understanding is to prosper.")
Proverbs 19:8 NRSV
YOUR INVITATION: As you begin 2026, God welcomes you to partner with Him in reducing your relationship-anxiety. What one small step will you take with Him?

 Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the LORD.
Proverbs 20:12 NLT
 
Everything you have is a gift from God. The air you breathe, the sunset you enjoy, the rain that nourishes your garden, your work, love of family and friends, your tastebuds, freedom, music, a bird’s song, art, creativity to color your environment. All things are God’s and He shares them with you. To bring you pleasure. What are you grateful for today? Pause for a moment and thank Him for the gifts you enjoy.  

During this Thanksgiving season, many of us (you and me) get caught up planning, preparing, and shopping for the next big event.
 
Yet you can make a wise choice when you honor God with your wealth—whether it is much (by society’s standards) or only a little. God blesses you when you share what you have. Sometimes we get the impression that we need to over-work, over-do, and keep it up 24/7 in order to please God. But that’s our inner bully speaking and not our Heavenly Father. Silence the inner tyrant by naming what you’re thankful for. Gratitude changes your focus this Thanksgiving.
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Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst.
Proverbs 3:9-10 TWMB

“What specific quality would you like for God to develop in you this year?” asked the speaker. It was the first week of January, and we were all contemplating our annual goals. This question caught my attention and wouldn’t let go.

Driving home, I contemplated my response: I’d like to be less obsessive, less intense. I want to balance giving with receiving and then be comfortable with it. I want to learn to accept the person God designed me to be. I want to be less judgmental of myself and others.

Then a light bulb flashed in my mind: Gentleness! That’s what I want. I want to be more gentle.

Later, I looked up the word “gentle” and read this definition: “Kindly; moderate; a mild breeze, usually one with the velocity of no more than 12 miles per hour." I smiled as I imagined going through each day at a moderate pace. After all, I had previously run through life like a high-velocity wind, all while trying to keep my emotions and thoughts controlled. Now I desired gentleness.

I shared my goal with God, asked for His Spirit’s help and kept this picture in my mind and heart: Joan practicing gentleness, tenderness and kindness, first with herself and then touching others like a refreshing gentle breeze.

You are an exquisitely made woman. Your body affects your mind, your mind influences your emotions, your emotions impact your beliefs and decisions, and in turn, your choices affect your body. God made you this way. He expects you to value your body, mind and emotions, because your fluctuating hormones and chemical levels inevitably influence the way you think, feel and react. Ask God for insight into practical and peace-filled ways to manage your variable emotions and thoughts.

He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled. Psalm 107:9, NASB
   
​      I glanced at the gas gauge. I’ll make it, I reasoned. Can’t stop now. Not long later the red warning light blinked on. Uh-oh, really low. Probably should stop and get gas. No time, though. I think I can make it to the next exit.
      But I didn’t. The car sputtered and rolled to a stop. No gas, no power, no go. “Bummer. Wish I’d heeded the warning,” I muttered as I started the hike to the gas station I had passed several miles ago.
       “In the busyness of our day and life, it may seem like a waste of time to slow down, to stop what we’re doing, and take [a] break. It is no more a waste of time than stopping to put gas in our car when the tank is almost empty,” writes Melody Beattie in The Language of Letting Go.1
     God doesn’t expect me to run my life on empty. (You, either!) He promises to replenish our longing souls and refresh our minds and bodies. So let’s decelerate when we notice the warning signs, turn off the speedway and fill up. We can get back on the road later.
     Lord, my red warning light is flashing. Help me slow down and fill up before I run out of inner strength.

​Make It Personal
What keeps you from stopping to fill up your inner tank? With this knowledge in mind, consider making a plan to turn off the speedway and refuel—even for 15 minutes. While you’re resting and filling up your inner tank, take several deep breaths.
Devotional from Joan's book, It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life, Regal Books

Then Comes Marriage 
     Yet through the years we discovered a few tips about how NOT to do love and marriage. I'm sharing these tips with you this Valentine's Day. Perhaps one of these ideas will help shift your thinking and bring you a sigh of relief. Wouldn't that be nice? I invite you--whether you're a newly-wed, an exhausted middle-ager, an empty-nester, or still waiting--to skim through these tips and notice what catches your eye. Even small revisions in the way we do life and love can make a difference. 
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