In a few days, I'll post the 4th blog in the BURNOUT series I've been sharing: Number Four will be "Life Beyond Burnout."
#1 - Are You Burning Out? (Maybe It's Compassion Fatigue?)
#2 - When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Burned Out (What IS Burnout?)
#3 - Stop Living Like You're on Fire
#4 - Life Beyond Burnout (It's Coming!)
The reason I'm posting right now is because I promised the women at the LIFT Summer Refresher JUST PRESS PAUSE where I spoke on Friday that I would post the poem I wrote and read to them. So, here it is. :-)
WHAT DO YOU NEED? (It may be different than what your friend needs!)
Some of us need to stop thinking and do,
while others need to stop doing and think.
Some need to stop asking and give, though
others need to cease giving and ask.
Some of us need to stop crying and smile,
yet others need to stop smiling and cry.
Some need to stop confronting and give in,
while others need to quit compromising and confront.
Some of us need to stop waiting and run,
Though others need to stop running and wait.
Some need to practice discipline and organize, yet others need to cease
structuring themselves into a box and relax.
God is big enough to help us all. What do you need?
So "relax" because there IS life beyond burnout and because being spiritual and loving God doesn't mean you have to respond to life's surprises exactly like your Bible teacher, pastor, mother, sister, brother, best friend or spouse! :-)
By the way, I also posted the poem on The Intentional Woman Facebook Group page. I'd love to have you join us there.
Maybe you’re just tapping your toe in the burnout cauldron. Perhaps you’re going down for the third count. Identifying your symptoms and the degree of your burnout will help you make intentional decisions to regain healthy balance. Here’s a shortened list of symptoms ranging from the occasionally bothersome to the more severe.
1. Decreased energy/unfocused/confused/disappointed
2. Increased fatigue/stress/sometimes use caffeine/sweets to lift mood
3. Change in weight/occasions of insomnia
4. Less creativity/vanishing sense of purpose
5. Headaches/decreased libido/muscle aches/dizziness
6. Feelings of depression/resentment/rigidity
7. Decreased social activity/nagging anxiety/emotional numbing
8. Exhaustion 24/7 with inability to sleep
9. Chest pains/shortness of breath/stomach problems/dizziness/disorientation
10. Inappropriate outbursts/periods of risky behavior/unhealthy blood pressure/diagnosis of illness
“If you don’t want to burnout, stop living like you’re on fire,” writes Brene Brown, a vulnerability researcher at the University of Houston. Adopting reusable freedom-producing strategies can help you avoid additional symptoms or escape an established burnout system.
What has helped you avoid or recover from burnout?
What IS Burnout or Compassion Fatigue?
Maybe It's Compassion Fatigue
[It's Dad's Day! I just read this "Father's Day" article from the Presidential Prayer Team. I thought you might find it interesting as I did. Enjoy! And pray the prayer suggestions along with me.]
Poll Reveals Most Men Want To Be Dads
(Saturday, June 15, 2013)
More than eight out of ten men say they want to be fathers or think they’d like to be one someday.
That compares to seven out of ten mothers who said they always knew they wanted to have children. The Associated Press survey also found that 69 percent of men said their long-standing desire to have children was an important factor in their decision to have kids.
The poll also found that dads were more likely than moms to say they saw positive effects from fatherhood on both their love life and career. They also said they are just as likely as moms to say fatherhood improved their overall happiness, sense of accomplishment and sense of purpose. Men surveyed also were more skeptical than women that a single mother can do as good a job raising a child as two parents can.
(Sources: AP, ABC)
As the Lord leads, please pray:
To help you pray for our country, leaders and families, you can receive daily short prayer guides from the Presidential Prayer Team just as I do. Click here to sign up.
(My FUN: The photo is of my son Rich with 2 of his 3 sons!)
"Your head’s in the clouds." If you heard this as a child just trying to have fun, maybe you think it means you should stop dreaming, come down to earth and be boring.
If you were praised for not keeping your “head in the clouds” you may have learned to put your nose to the grindstone, stop being spontaneous and "silly" and avoid pleasure.
The wisest man in the world wrote, "Wise realists plant their feet on the ground."*
But being a "wise realist" doesn’t mean either extreme. You can make thoughtful (yes, even wise!) decisions about your current reality and still enjoy life.
Have you ever been told that "Your head's in the clouds?" What does that mean to you?
*Proverbs 14:18 MSG
Adapted from the "Prudence" entry in Everyday Wisdom.
Lord, who are these people, Your created children, who suffer pain deeper than words?
A mommy who lost her precious 3rd grader in this devastating tornado-monster in Oklahoma yesterday?
That daddy who thought his child would be safe
learning at school?
A little boy who can’t imagine never playing ball with his best friend again?
A young couple who had just started out and now their carefully-planned future
lies in a flattened pile of rubble?
An elderly man and his wife who just wanted to live out their final days on earth in peace?
The OK firefighter who usually assists others, now facing his own need for help?
Those first-responders climbing and clawing through the jagged boards looking for a glimpse of life–their minds and bodies throbbing with compassion fatigue…yet they work on?
God, I lift up these men and women, boys and girls to You.
I only taste their pain, while they are drowning in it.
I’m removed; miles away. YOU are there. “You are close to the brokenhearted.”*
Hold their hurting hearts and may they sense Your presence.
Because of Jesus, I come to You knowing that you hear me
and the myriads of others who pray.
*Psalm 34:18 NIV
If you’re like many moms I know, you’re tired. Weary. Crying babies. Sassy Teens. You love your kids AND sometimes you just want a little relief. Maybe you can’t escape to your dream-get-away right now, but you could use an energy-break. Here’s four doable relief-tips for you:
1. Ask “What do I really want to do?” When you’re in a quandary about a decision, hopefully your response(s) will help you decipher which is your desire or need and not merely what someone else wants you to do. (Trying to make everyone happy and follow their advice can be truly exhausting.)
2. When you get into bed at night, instead of praying “Lord, what did I do wrong today?” and then ruminating about what you coulda- shoulda- woulda done, pray, “What did I do right, Lord?” Then listen to how God’s spirit prompts you, and praise Him for your blessings and His help. (Constant negative self-talk can rob your energy–and your joy.)
3. When you’re overly tired, lacking energy, or just plain overwhelmed with the mundaneness of mommy-hood, ask yourself “Since I’m going to do this activity or task anyway, how can I do it easier–or even with a little fun)? (Doing something you enjoy, like listening to your fav music while accomplishing an unpleasant task can actually revitalize you.)
4. Before you get out of bed and/or reach over to pick up your baby in the morning or greet your early-bird toddler, take thirty seconds to talk to God. Request His guidance and help for your day. Consider asking, “Lord, what do You want to show me today?” Then watch for evidence of His love and direction. (Anticipating good things can be an attitude and energy booster. And a way to get to know God more intimately.)
So…Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!
“Perfectionists minimize their moral and ethical plus-side and magnify their failings,” writes Miriam Elliott and Susan Meltsner in the book The Perfectionist Predicament. I’ve noticed this phenomenon in clients, friends, family members and yes, even myself. (No surprise, huh?)
I watched one woman hang her head in shame when her job circumstances prevented her from attending a church meeting. Another mentioned how bad she felt that her sick child kept her from having her private prayer time for a few days.
I can give myself grief for not posting an inspirational blog on time or taking too long to respond to a hurting person who sent me an email over the weekend. What’s wrong with you, Joan? It’s like we set up unrealistic spiritual expectations and then worry that God is disappointed in us.
However, here’s what I’m learning (and I love it): God doesn’t withdraw His grace, compassion or support when we fall short in our own eyes. Once we accept the invitation to be His child, He’ll never change His mind. He gives us unique spiritual gifts and then employs us for service accordingly. God’s gift of grace, as well as His promise to comfort, provide for and protect us, are undeserved benefits. His call and gifts are irrevocable. (Romans 11:29)
Grace is the face love wears when it meets IMPERFECTION! Will you give yourself a little “grace” today?
Joan C. Webb
Writing, teaching, coaching to empower and set free.