Joan C. Webb
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
    • Nourishment for New Moms
    • The Intentional Woman
    • The Relief of Imperfection
    • It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life
    • Everyday Wisdom
    • Devotions for Little Boys and Girls
    • Meditations for Christians Who Try to Be Perfect
    • Joan's Writing Contributions
  • Life Coaching
    • Life Coaching Brochure
    • What Others Say about Life Coaching
    • LifePlan Brochure
  • Intentional Woman
    • The Intentional Woman Mission/Vision
    • The Intentional Woman Authors
    • IW LifePlan
  • Freebies
  • Joan's Promo Page
  • What Others Say about Joan's Speaking/Teaching
  • Connect with Joan
    • About Joan
    • Listen to Joan

   Joan's BLOG

Exaggerated Sense of Responsibility

6/2/2011

2 Comments

 
Picture
I sat in the auditorium next to the guests I’d invited to join me for this special event. While engrossed in the beautiful music, it dawned on me: Joan, you’re enjoying this concert for the sheer pleasure of it, without being preoccupied with your guests’ thoughts, feelings or reactions. I smiled then and I’m smiling now as I remember.

For years, an overzealous sense of responsibility overshadowed my personal enjoyment. When I invited another person to attend a church service, concert or even a luncheon, I felt duty-bound to see that she enjoyed the time and gained new insight. Now I realize that I’m not responsible for someone else’s perceptions, attitudes or knowledge.

Through my years of life coaching and speaking, I’ve noticed an epidemic of over-helping. Those of us who want to join God in His work sometimes live by a false premise that we must fix what’s broken, heal what hurts and right what’s wrong (in our opinion). This over-active sense of responsibility can lead us to believe that we’re more powerful than we really are. It’s exhausting.

God is the Almighty One, and He wants to release us from this unnecessary responsibility. He is the one in charge of the world, not us. When we give Him our shoulds, musts and ought-tos, we begin to live in genuine freedom. You and I are not responsible for anyone else’s life fulfillment. Only our own. What uncomplicated delight!

Yesterday a coaching client emailed me to let me know that she had just read the above devotional in my book, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. She wrote, “It hit the nail on the head with what I often feel with others.” Then she explained that she’s excited about letting go of the responsibility that isn’t hers.

What about you? What unreasonable I should or I must belief has worn you out and threatened to keep you from experiencing your own satisfaction or pleasure? I’d love to hear from you.


2 Comments
Ed Seagraves
7/9/2017 08:04:16 am

Joan, is there a clinical term for "exaggerated sense of duty-responsiblity"? I ask because I'm doing a translation into English from Italian, and I'm having a tough time finding a translation for the Italian term "superegoico". You will notice that this word contains "superego", but I don't think there's correspondence. Thanks in advance.

Reply
Joan C Webb link
11/19/2017 07:11:24 pm

Hi Ed,
Thanks for commenting. I'm sorry for the delay in responding. I'm not sure what you might use for the translation of "superegoico" from Italian into English. An "exaggerated sense of duty-responsibility" seems to be closely related to the various aspects of conditioned and mirrored dysfunction that results in codependency or a thinking that "I am powerful enough to change someone or something else and make it all 'just right' as I envision it should be". It's been several months now. I'm curious to know what you decided to use. Blessings, Joan

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Joan C. Webb

    Writing, teaching, coaching to empower and set free.
    Joan is an inspirational speaker, Bible teacher, Life Coach, and author of 13 books including It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life, The Relief of Imperfection, The Intentional Woman. She does consulting, as well as Life Coaching, for writers, speakers, ministry leaders and entrepreneurs.

    Connect with Joan.  

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Bible/Scripture
    Bible/Scripture
    Books/Reading
    Christmas
    Easter
    God/Faith
    God/Faith
    Gratitude/Thanksgiving
    Gratitude/Thanksgiving
    Health/Disease/Healing
    Helpwell Being5b82e02159
    Helpwellbeingd0a8f36645
    Holy Spirit
    Hope
    Intentional Living
    Intentional Woman
    Jesus
    Leadership
    Life Coaching
    Love
    Marriage
    Motherhood
    Overwhelmed/Overworked
    Parenting/Children
    Patriotism/Country
    People Pleasing
    People-pleasing
    Perfectionism
    Prayer
    Relief Of Imperfection
    Retreat/Rest
    Self Help/Well Being
    Self Help/Well Being
    Stress
    Work
    Writing

    Archives

    April 2020
    May 2017
    February 2016
    May 2015
    February 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009
    May 2009
    April 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009
    December 2008
    November 2008
    September 2008
    April 2008
    March 2008
    February 2008
    January 2008
    December 2007
    November 2007
    August 2006

"Are you tired? Come to me. ...Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
​Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)

Interact with Joan

About Joan
Connect
Books
Listen to Joan
Photos used with permission from Future Photo Group

Copyright 2019 Joan C. Webb

Free Resources

Relief of Imperfection Chart
Wheel of Life Inventory
Feelings Chart
Coaching and Mentoring

Life Coaching

Tell Me about Life Coaching
What Others Say

Intentional Woman

IW LifePlan
IW 5-Step Process
Picture
Photos used under Creative Commons from edenpictures, Renee Silverman, whologwhy, Jaime Olmo, Monkey Mash Button, peasap, Thomás, flik, Evil Erin, kennethkonica, JLStricklin, marioanima, jubileelewis, tswicegood, fhwrdh, Irwin-Scott, raymond_zoller, xindilo, Kumaravel, Tucker Sherman, h.koppdelaney, torbakhopper, Thomas Rousing, Patrick Hoesly, Sharon Mollerus, Por mi tripa..., Parker Knight, analogophile, JD Hancock, marimbajlamesa, ellyn., Nathan O'Nions, jessleecuizon, ZiarciRose, Alan Cleaver, BékiPe, kevin dooley, libertygrace0, Ryk Neethling, LadyDragonflyCC *TY for 500,000 views! *, Leonid Mamchenkov, Danielle Scott, GabrielaP93
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
    • Nourishment for New Moms
    • The Intentional Woman
    • The Relief of Imperfection
    • It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life
    • Everyday Wisdom
    • Devotions for Little Boys and Girls
    • Meditations for Christians Who Try to Be Perfect
    • Joan's Writing Contributions
  • Life Coaching
    • Life Coaching Brochure
    • What Others Say about Life Coaching
    • LifePlan Brochure
  • Intentional Woman
    • The Intentional Woman Mission/Vision
    • The Intentional Woman Authors
    • IW LifePlan
  • Freebies
  • Joan's Promo Page
  • What Others Say about Joan's Speaking/Teaching
  • Connect with Joan
    • About Joan
    • Listen to Joan