Ahhh. It’s LOVE week. All is well. Or is it?

If you’re like some lovers, you may sense that one or both of you are trying too hard to control how the other one expresses love. Instead of increasing intimacy, it pushes you apart. So what’s up?

Okay, no one is perfectly loving 24/7. Yet, you can grow in your Valentine-Relationship when you both commit to developing these God-honoring characteristics:

1. Allow for individuality. Differing talents or temperaments do not threaten true love. Feelings and thoughts can be expressed without fear.

2. Avoid trying to change the other. We may not like everything about our partner, yet when we consider the total picture we are able to be more accepting.

3. Care with detachment. Healthy love cares, listens, and responds; yet does not try to fix or remove the uncomfortable feelings of the lover.

4. Affirm equality of self and partner. A mature relationship treats the partners as equals. There is no sense of competition or one-upmanship.

When you practice mature love, you accept what the other person is able or willing to give. You allow each other space to grow and develop. 

This week I invite you to pray with me: “Lord, teach me to love authentically…with joy and fun. I don’t wish to make inappropriate demands–and force my own way. Help me to be honest about what I want. And also listen to understand my mate’s needs and desires. You had a good idea when You created romantic love. Thank you.”

Have a lovely V-day. I know I will, ‘cuz it is also my birthday!

I’m feeling pretty imperfect right now. Fallible. Flawed. Tired. Small. Tonight I read the following words from the chapter titled “Doesn’t God Want Me to Be Perfect?” in my book, The Relief of Imperfection and I sighed with relief. So I thought I’d share it with you. What’s your response? 

It is God’s plan to partner with sinful, flawed, limited human beings who choose to follow His Son Jesus Christ. During His 33 years on earth, Jesus surrounded Himself with perfectly imperfect people who decided to admit their needs, take risks, make mistakes and grow.

These are the kind of people who formed His ministry team. Actually, He didn’t spend much time with those who feigned perfection, appeared on-top-of-it-all, made unreasonable religious rules, blamed others for their dilemmas and remained preoccupied with appearances.

Instead He preferred working, playing and living with people just like you and me. He enjoyed imperfect partnerships back then, just as He does today.

What a relief!

P.S. The words on the rock in the photo are “Grace is the face love wears when it meets imperfection.” Reminds me that although I’m feeling quite flawed right now, I’m still loved. Okay, now I’m smiling!

Your homeschool children are invited to join with other young writers. Last year I spent two fun-filled semesters teaching writing at a homeschool co-op in Gilbert, Arizona. (Check out the fun on our website from the first fall 2011. http://storiesfromskylinecourt.blogspot.com.) We just had a few cancellations, so there is room for your children in grades 3rd to 10th. Call Lynnette at 480-270-9922 for info and to register. Hurry! It starts next week! Read the specifics below. 

Homeschool Writing Class Wednesdays for 8 weeks ~ September 12, 2012 – November 14, 2012 (October 3 and 31– no class)

Joan C. Webb, author/teacher, life coach, will be teaching Writing: Structure and Style. Much of the curriculum will be based on the method used by The Institute for Excellence in Writing.  The writer’s workshop time will be highly interactive and will focus on grammar and vocab enhancement, as well as parts of speech and effective and powerful sentence construction. The 8 week class will be on Wednesday afternoons at Higley and Germann in Power Ranch. (See the photo!) Also included in the registration fee will be opportunity to meet with Mrs. Webb for individual instruction/tutoring.

Joan C. Webb has a passion to know God and to make Him known. She has authored thirteen books including The Intentional Woman (written with Carol Travilla),The Relief of Imperfection, It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life (a devotional book), and a four-book series titled Devotions for Little Boys and Girls. Her newest book, Nourishment for New Moms, was released last year. Joan also wrote study notes in Zondervan’s Women of Faith Study Bible. Her background includes business ownership/management, Bible teaching and conference speaking, travel to the Middle East doing relief and development work and twelve years as a pastor’s wife. She lives with her husband Richard in Chandler, Arizona, near their two married children and seven grandchildren.

Has anyone ever said to you, “You’re such a perfectionist!” or “Who died and made you God?” Perhaps you’ve mumbled something similar when dealing with a demanding co-worker or loved one. But what is perfectionism?

One dictionary defines it as “a propensity for being displeased with anything that is not perfect.” Yet a practicing perfectionist may not always demand straight A’s, refuse to leave the house if the bed’s not made, or endlessly edit a report. Perfectionism is more subtle than that. It’s about unreasonable expectations – how we berate ourselves and others (silently or aloud) for having human (decoded as “weak”) thoughts and emotions, inconsistent commitment levels, or average accomplishments, bodies and relationships.

When we try too hard to make ourselves, our jobs and our families “just right,” we get overly stressed and bone-tired. Who needs that? Relief is possible. It’s a process, but we can reduce our self-sabotaging behaviors by:

Realizing that when we fall into the “trying too hard to make it just right” trap, we believe amisconception: That people, projects and circumstances have the capacity to be perfect (or “just right”).

• Acknowledging that when we adhere to this misconception, life becomes a persistent disappointment.
• Recognizing that this mind-set increases our anxiety and sabotages our relationships and dreams.
• Changing our unrealistic expectations to believe the truth: Human beings, organizations, and even our accomplishments do not have the ability to be flawless 24/7. Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful! Only God is perfect!

If you doubt that you’ll still be able to reach your God-given goals, become an excellent employee, succeed as a parent or grow spiritually when you relax and release your unrealistic expectations, check out next week’s blog. (Hint: There IS a difference between partnering with God for excellence and operating in perfectionism.)

Just wondering here: Do you ever get tired of trying too hard to make it all just right?




I adapted this article which I originally wrote to be published by Genius Avenue Inc., copyright 2011.