Joan C. Webb
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A Grace-Filled Christmas -- Every Day?

12/23/2013

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While preparing for this gift-giving season, I asked myself (and God) two questions (at different times.) 
1. What is Christmas to me?
2. What would it mean to enjoy a "grace-filled" holiday?


QUESTION #1: In my journal I wrote the following:
To me Christmas is:
  • Jesus--knowing Him intimately and learning what He meant when He said, "I came that you might have abundant Life."
  • Loving God and walking/talking with Him daily
  • Experiencing God the Father, God the Son (Christ) and God the Spirit in the midst of earth's daily imperfection and chaos.

"Sooooo, every day is Christmas to me," I concluded. And then it dawned on me that this reality (that every day is Christmas for me) has caused me to "lighten up" my unrealistic expectations for celebrating Christmas. It's been more an internal shift than an outward one. I've released some of the intense "shoulds and have tos and musts" that society, the media, the church, my inner bully, and others--who appear to have it all together--tell me (or at least hint) that I NEED to do.

In my heart, I now know that I don't have to cram all my giving, caring, doing, gratitude, merriment, music, celebrations, goodwill, and spirituality into the 4-5 concentrated weeks of Christmas holidaying. 


QUESTION #2: And then I read about the original meaning of the word "grace" used in the Bible to tell us about the Christ of Christ-mas. This "grace" is the direct opposite of "works", in fact the two are mutually exclusive. All my "trying too hard to make it all just right" at Christmas (or any other time) is the antithesis of grace. When I truly accept God's grace/favor in Christ, I'm able to be grace-ful with myself and others. (John 1:14-17)*

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Practical Grace Example! I shared this with some women at the beginning of December. A mom with 4 little kids got so excited that she began thinking of ways to "grace" herself and her family this season. One practical thing she did was to relax her expectations for how her artificial tree would be decorated. When she put it together, she didn't have time to "fluff" up the branches, so she let it go--and allowed the kids to decorate, anyway! All very smile-able. 

How will you "grace" yourself and your loved ones this Christmas week?



BOOK WINNERS: Thank you to all of you for commenting on my last blog and entering the book give-away for It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life. The three winners were Robyn Bloomquist, Patricia Groff, and Tessie M. Congratulations!. Hope you enjoy reading the devotionals. Love your comments, Everyone. Keep them coming please! :-)

*The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. ...From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:14-17

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My Favorite Christmas Carol-WIN a BOOK for Christmas

12/12/2013

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FROSTY THE SNOWMAN 
"How can a snowman be 'parse and brown'?" I asked myself after singing Frosty the Snowman as a little girl. I didn't get it, but I didn't have the nerve to ask what it meant. (Years later I learned that the words really are "We'll pretend that he is Parson Brown!")

A more disturbing question that little Joanie Pressler had was: "Did they actually 'conceive' by the fire? (Hmmmm. Again years later I discovered the the word "conspire" isn't the same as "conceive.")

The words of the often-sung Christmas songs DO have meaning. I also remember the day the words to HARK, THE HERALD ANGELS SANG went from head-memory to my heart. I cried, smiled, prayed, and smiled all at once. It became my favorite Christmas carol. 

HARK THE HERALD ANGELS SING
Jesus Christ, God the Son, the second person of the Trinity, willingly left His perfect surroundings with God the Father to be born into this messy, judgmental, chaotic, abusive world. To live with the same limitations of time, space, and to have the same hunger and sleep needs that you and I have.

He did this to reconnect imperfect me--and you--to all-perfect God. To demonstrate the character and attributes of God, so I can understand who He is. To give me a second change at life. And to give me hope that I'll live with Him forever.  

This blows my mind. And thrills me deep inside, every time I hear or sing this Christmas carol.
  • "Pleased as man with man to dwell..."
  • "Mild He lays His glory by..."
  • "Born that man no more may die..."
  • "Born to give [us] second birth..."
  • "Jesus, our Emmanuel" (God with us!) 

What is your favorite Christmas carol? Why? 
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WIN A FREE BOOK THIS CHRISTMAS
(Comment below and I'll choose 3 names (yes, 3 people will win one) out of the hat and send you an autographed copy of my devotional book, "It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life" BEFORE Christmas. (My book reminds me of the classic Christmas movie with Jimmy Stewart, It's a Wonderful Life! Maybe you'd like to give a copy of the book and the movie as a Christmas gift.)

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"Time-Outs" Are Not Just for Grumpy Kids

10/31/2013

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My husband Richard and I are taking an extended "time-out" during the month of November.
So...
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During this time-out, I plan to sleep as late as I want to every day. Ahhh. And I purpose to avoid TV, the phone, emails, all social media and the internet. Ahhh again! :) 
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I'll enjoy God's creation, listen to nature, breathe deeply.
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I'll relish someone else's cooking, take walks, explore, share fun adventures with Richard.
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And pray with a less-anxious mind and a grateful heart. 
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Taking a break to reflect, breathe and regroup is not only a good idea for super-active, grumpy, tired kids, but for super-vigilant, hard-working adults, as well!  

How do I know?

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After experiencing chronic heart palpitations, my doctor sent me to a physical therapist. His goal was to teach me how to alleviate my stress symptoms.

He suggested biofeedback to help me learn how to relax. Attaching me to a device, he showed me how to monitor my responses, and then left the room. Immediately my pulse quickened and my mind locked up. The meter on the machine flipped out of control. 

"Someone must be messing with the controls from the next room," I concluded. How I wanted out of the room!

Hey, I had a hard time relaxing. I not only felt it was a waste of time, I thought it was un-Christian. When forced to go against my beliefs, my mind sent out negative impulses and almost broke the machine!

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Gradually, I changed my beliefs about the value of relaxation techniques, and taking intentional time to slow down, re-group and cease from working or serving. 


I discovered God is not opposed to me "taking it easy" at times. In fact, God is pleased when I relax. 

What About You?

God takes joy in your "time-outs", too. You don't have to take a month-long time-out like I'm starting next week. Begin with just an hour or two. Just for fun. Regrouping. Relaxing. Adventure. 
What will you do for your next mini-time-out? When?


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PLEASE NOTE:
While I'm on vacation I'm grateful that my grown children will be holding down the fort at home and that my assistant Karen will be hosting 4 guest bloggers on my website:
  • 11/4 Kathy Collard Miller (Book Give-Away Opp)
  • 11/11 Jodi Shaw
  • 11/18 Lucille Zimmerman (Free book drawing) 
  • 12/2 Becky Johnson & Rachel Randolph (Free book drawing)

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How Does Shame Affect You?

10/11/2013

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This last weekend I attended my 3rd annual WayPoint Summit for Christian Life Coaches, Spiritual Directors and Transformational Workers in Breckenridge, CO. 
The theme was Live. Shame. Free. 
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It was a "jarringly beautiful and healing" time for me...as well as for others. In empathetic community--free of fixing and "get well quick" blurts--we graced one another with listening prayer, acceptance, safety, and freedom. In messy imperfection. And it was not only "okay", but redeeming. The light shone in. Beyond words...
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Reminded me of something I wrote a while back. (See in the right hand column)  Do you identify with it on any level? How has shame affected you?
“You shouldn’t feel that way” or “You’re not tired. Your sister still has energy.” or “We can’t stop for a bathroom break now. You don’t have to go that bad, anyway” or even “You should pray like your cousin does.” 

Comments like these may sound familiar. Perhaps you’ve been shamed into doubting your emotions, perceptions, desires or needs, causing you to lose your sense of individuality. 

“Each of us is surrounded by external sources of shame. These vary, of course,” write David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen in The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. “Families where people are called names or compared, or where parents have their needs met by the performance of the children, instill messages of shame in their members.” The authors contend that even billboards, magazine ads and television commercials shame us by promising ways to make us more valuable, lovable or capable.

As wise God-seekers, we can cease sacrificing who we are for the sake of another’s ego-needs or our own desire for protection from negative reaction. Although God has unlimited power, He never victimizes us to prove it. Instead, He treats us with respect and love. He’s worth trusting—even imperfectly.

Lord, I think I’ve allowed others and their opinions to make my decisions for me. I don’t want to do that anymore. Instead I want to enter into authentic, freedom-producing and shame-decreasing relationships with safe people who trust and love You. It seems a little risky. (Who am I kidding?) It's a lot risky. I'm leaning into You for help. 
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Addicted to Action

9/15/2013

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“I know I’m late. But I don’t feel like I’m being productive or that I’ve achieved my goals unless I’m rushing and at least a half-hour late for each appointment,” said my client as he burst through the door and sprinted past me toward our conference room.

My internal reaction was: Well, Vic, you must feel a great sense of accomplishment today! He had arrived one and a half hours past our scheduled appointment time. Although I didn’t share his philosophy, something in his behavior rang a bell with me. Perhaps I was in awareness-mode, because several weeks later I admitted my own workaholic lifestyle. I was burned-out and wanted to change.

Slowly I began to understand that the narrower definition of a workaholic is someone who is addicted to action. An action addict (like Vic and me) is driven to do too much, expect too much, rush too much and prove too much. Some refer to it as the “hurry sickness.” It can happen to either gender, yet Dr. Brent W. Bost, an obstetrician-gynecologist in Beaumont, Texas estimates that there are 30 million women in America who are so over-scheduled and over-stressed that it negatively affects their physical health, sex life, jobs, and relationships.

The next time someone gives you the ultimate compliment for an action-addict: “You’re so busy. How do you do it all?” consider letting that be a signal to STOP. The antidote to action-addiction is to cease doing for a while. Be quiet. Rest. It will feel wrong. Your body, mind and emotions tell you that you must keep going. 

This advice to cease doing for a while reminds me of Psalm 46:10 in The Message: “[Stop!] Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”

Experts insist that this is a vital step, just as it is important for the alcoholic-addicted person to stop drinking. Your body needs to detox from the chemicals aroused by your constant action. It will be quite difficult--and so worth it. For more information about action-addiction watch for next week's blog “Are You an Adrenaline Junkie?”


What would it take for you to STOP for a while?


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Fight Procrastination Day!

9/7/2013

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Yesterday was "Fight Procrastination Day" and I procrastinated in posting this blog to my site. Does that mean I put the "PRO" in procrastination? 

The dictionary indicates that to procrastinate means to defer action, to delay until an opportunity is lost. Dr. Ellis, a counselor who specializes in the issue of procrastination, defines procrastination as deciding to do something and then not doing it.  

Now, I want to clarify something. Delay and procrastination are not the same thing. There may be a legitimate reason for a delay. Procrastination is "to delay until it is too late."   

For example, say you received the brochure for a conference related to your field of interest. You read it, the workshops looked beneficial to you and you made the decision to go. But then you set the info aside and put off following through by calling to ask your questions, checking your calendar and registering...until it was too late. Then the day of the conference arrived and the opportunity was gone. You missed it.   

If this is your modus operandi and you really want to do it differently, there is hope. You can change. 
  1. Decide you don't want to live this way anymore. Acknowledge your need to someone who will listen and help you stay accountable.
  2. Discover and admit the misconceptions that lead to your procrastination. (For example: I've got to do perfectly or not at all.)
  3. Replace your misconception with the truth. (For example: Perfection on this earth is not possible. Only God is perfect. I need only do the best I can at any given time and even that might fluctuate.)
  4. As a Christian, you can then surrender the entire journey to God and trust that He is able to guide you through the changing process.
  5. Remain committed to your decision for new habits and attitudes. Keep walking through the fear that often accompanies any unfamiliar process of positive change.

And here are 10 practical tips for ceasing to put the "PRO" in procrastination. (Not in order of importance)
  •   Accept (or start) a new major project only when you have released an existing one.
  •   Set mini-goals when working on an extended project. Some call it "chunk-a-sizing." Then the entire long-term goal      does not hang over your head continually.
  •   Stop the negative thought patterns that throws the "misconception" in your face. Develop a system that works for    you.
  •   Delegate the workload.
  •   Become friends with "time."
  •   Ask questions. Ask for help. Then accept it. 
  •   Cultivate a support system.
  •   Learn to say "no" as well as "yes."
  •   Remember that less is sometimes more.
  •   Recognize and accept your limitations. (Even Jesus couldn't be in two places at once while here on this earth.) 

Which tip will you try this week?


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Are You Working This Labor Day Weekend?

8/30/2013

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During a business dinner, an associate asked me about the book I was writing (The Relief of Imperfection.) When I mentioned the topic of perfectionistic thinking, workaholic behavior and burnout, he nodded and said, "Well, those things are not worth dying for!"

Soon after this I read an article about a trend called "downshifting." Downshifters are men and women who choose to leave all-consuming jobs for a little slower pace so they can experience more enjoyment in their lives. I don't know about you, but I admit this sounds really good. 

Happy Labor Day weekend 2013! Perhaps you're really grateful that you get an extra day off. Or maybe you're one of the many who work through the holiday weekend. Before I write/say anything else, I want to acknowledge that I'm grateful for the opportunity and ability to work. You probably are, also (whether its work for ministry, volunteer service, an income-producing job, home schooling or taking care of your babies.)

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More and more I talk with people in my coaching, mentoring, and every day life who are realizing that striving and working all the time (to be the best parent, to constantly reach for full potential for yourself and your family, to get more clients and make more money, to help others with very little time to refuel) is not what God had in mind when we made us with the capability to work. There is more to life.

Life includes:
  • enjoying nature, 
  • pursuing hobbies, 
  • developing talents, 
  • deepening relationships,
  • serving others, and 
  • knowing and enjoying God. 

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LIFE is worth living for. So this weekend, how about STOPPING the work for a little while to focus on one of the life's enjoyments listed above. What do you choose? Whatever it is, have fun!

You want to pray with me? God, teach me the meaning of life with its balance of labor, rest, and enjoyment. Slow me down to listen. I know "It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work my worried fingers to the bone. I know You enjoy giving rest [and LIFE] to those You love. (Prayer based on Psalm 127:1-2 in The Message)

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We Don't All Need the Same Things

8/7/2013

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In a few days, I'll post the 4th blog in the BURNOUT series I've been sharing: Number Four will be "Life Beyond Burnout." 
#1 - Are You Burning Out? (Maybe It's Compassion Fatigue?)
#2 - When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Burned Out (What IS Burnout?)
#3 - Stop Living Like You're on Fire
#4 - Life Beyond Burnout (It's Coming!)

The reason I'm posting right now is because I promised the women at the LIFT Summer Refresher JUST PRESS PAUSE where I spoke on Friday that I would post the poem I wrote and read to them. So, here it is. :-)

WHAT DO YOU NEED? (It may be different than what your friend needs!)
Some of us need to stop thinking and do,
while others need to stop doing and think.
Some need to stop asking and give, though
others need to cease giving and ask.
Some of us need to stop crying and smile,
yet others need to stop smiling and cry.
Some need to stop confronting and give in,
while others need to quit compromising and confront.
Some of us need to stop waiting and run,
Though others need to stop running and wait.
Some need to practice discipline and organize, yet others need to cease
structuring themselves into a box and relax.
God is big enough to help us all. What do you need?
So "relax" because there IS life beyond burnout and because being spiritual and loving God doesn't mean you have to respond to life's surprises exactly like your Bible teacher, pastor, mother, sister, brother, best friend or spouse! :-)


By the way, I also posted the poem on The Intentional Woman Facebook Group page. I'd love to have you join us there. 
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Invitation to JUST PRESS PAUSE

7/16/2013

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LIFT's Summer Refresher
Friday, August 2, 2013

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When
Friday August 2, 2013 
9:00 AM to 1:00 PM MST
Cost includes lunch:
 $10 Members $20 Non-Members
Where
La Casa de Cristo
Fellowship Hall 
6300 E. Bell Road
Scottsdale, AZ 
85254

To REGISTER click here! 
or call 602-810-1623

Message from Lift Director

Sometimes we carry burdens we were never meant to carry. That's why I'm thrilled to have Joan C. Webb come for our August Summer Refresher event title Just Press Pause. 

As Joan so aptly states:

"As dedicated, gifted, and caring Christian women we try hard to assure that our relationships, goals, faith, and ministries are "just right"-and it's so disappointing when they aren't. There is so much to do to further God's Kingdom work and we want to join Him. So we try harder and just get bone-tired. Sometimes that deep weariness is from carrying burdens that aren't ours to carry. Maybe if you're like me, you long to know what you can do to release yourself from that heavy weight. Let's come "Just Press Pause" to relax with Christ and one another, and trade our exhausting expectations for imperfect joy."


I can't wait to see you there!
Smiling in Christ,

Pam Lyons
Director of LIFT

Need a Little Break?

I want to personally invite you to a Mini-Retreat for Women's Ministry Leaders, Teams and Volunteers where I'll be sharing on Friday, August 2. I've noticed that many of us (and I'm including myself!) are experiencing "compassion fatigue" these days.

Are you craving relief -- as well as some practical ways to avoid the heaviness of "compassion fatigue"? If so, please join us as we accept Jesus' offer to "Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matt. 11:28-30 MSG

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Want to Join Us? 

Great! For the answers to your questions about registering:
  • Check out the information on left column.
  • Go to the LIFT website by clicking here. 
  • If you have additional questions, send me message by clicking here. 

Looking forward to seeing you on August 2! Remember, Life doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful and rewarding! Neither do our ministries or relationships!
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Is Your Head in the Clouds?

6/4/2013

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"Your head’s in the clouds." If you heard this as a child just trying to have fun, maybe you think it means you should stop dreaming, come down to earth and be boring. 


If you were praised for not keeping your “head in the clouds” you may have learned to put your nose to the grindstone, stop being spontaneous and "silly" and avoid pleasure.
 
The wisest man in the world wrote, "Wise realists plant their feet on the ground."* 


But being a "wise realist" doesn’t mean either extreme. You can make thoughtful (yes, even wise!) decisions about your current reality and still enjoy life.


Have you ever been told that "Your head's in the clouds?" What does that mean to you? 

*Proverbs 14:18 MSG

Adapted from the "Prudence" entry in Everyday Wisdom.






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    Joan C. Webb

    Writing, teaching, coaching to empower and set free.
    Joan is an inspirational speaker, Bible teacher, Life Coach, and author of 13 books including It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life, The Relief of Imperfection, The Intentional Woman. She does consulting, as well as Life Coaching, for writers, speakers, ministry leaders and entrepreneurs.

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"Are you tired? Come to me. ...Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
​Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)

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