Lately I’ve been reflecting on this reality: my close friend honestly views our relationship, interaction, communication, conflicts and resolutions differently than I do. And it’s not because we have vastly opposing beliefs or values. It’s primarily because we have different personalities and temperaments. She doesn’t want exactly what I want. And she really doesn’t need what I do. Understanding this is both startling and freeing.
Years ago I wrote a poem that relates to this sometimes surprising people-reality. I read it again today and it helped me to be more accepting of myself and my friend.Neither of us is WRONG in our responses. We’re just different. Here’s the poem:
Some of us need to stop thinking and do, while others need to stop doing and think.
Some need to stop asking and give, though others need to cease giving and ask.
Some of us need to stop crying and smile, yet others need to stop smiling and cry.
Some need to stop confronting and give in, while others need to quit compromising and confront.
Some of us need to stop waiting and run, though others need to stop running and wait.
Some need to practice discipline and organize, yet others need to cease structuring themselves
into a box and relax.
What do YOU need?
Have you ever felt confused by another person’s differences? Does any part of this poem help you understand one of your relationships?
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Joan C. Webb
Writing, teaching, coaching to empower and set free.