Writing and Coaching Blog

"Time-Outs" Are Not Just for Grumpy Kids

10/31/2013

My husband Richard and I are taking an extended "time-out" during the month of November.
So...

During this time-out, I plan to sleep as late as I want to every day. Ahhh. And I purpose to avoid TV, the phone, emails, all social media and the internet. Ahhh again! :)

I'll enjoy God's creation, listen to nature, breathe deeply.

I'll relish someone else's cooking, take walks, explore, share fun adventures with Richard.

And pray with a less-anxious mind and a grateful heart.

Taking a break to reflect, breathe and regroup is not only a good idea for super-active, grumpy, tired kids, but for super-vigilant, hard-working adults, as well!

How do I know?

After experiencing chronic heart palpitations, my doctor sent me to a physical therapist. His goal was to teach me how to alleviate my stress symptoms.

He suggested biofeedback to help me learn how to relax. Attaching me to a device, he showed me how to monitor my responses, and then left the room. Immediately my pulse quickened and my mind locked up. The meter on the machine flipped out of control.

"Someone must be messing with the controls from the next room," I concluded. How I wanted out of the room!

Hey, I had a hard time relaxing. I not only felt it was a waste of time, I thought it was un-Christian. When forced to go against my beliefs, my mind sent out negative impulses and almost broke the machine!

Gradually, I changed my beliefs about the value of relaxation techniques, and taking intentional time to slow down, re-group and cease from working or serving.

I discovered God is not opposed to me "taking it easy" at times. In fact, God is pleased when I relax.

What About You?

God takes joy in your "time-outs", too. You don't have to take a month-long time-out like I'm starting next week. Begin with just an hour or two. Just for fun. Regrouping. Relaxing. Adventure.
What will you do for your next mini-time-out? When?

PLEASE NOTE:
While I'm on vacation I'm grateful that my grown children will be holding down the fort at home and that my assistant Karen will be hosting 4 guest bloggers on my website:

11/4 Kathy Collard Miller (Book Give-Away Opp)
11/11 Jodi Shaw
11/18 Lucille Zimmerman (Free book drawing)
12/2 Becky Johnson & Rachel Randolph (Free book drawing)

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How Does Shame Affect You?

10/11/2013

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This last weekend I attended my 3rd annual WayPoint Summit for Christian Life Coaches, Spiritual Directors and Transformational Workers in Breckenridge, CO.
The theme was Live. Shame. Free.

It was a "jarringly beautiful and healing" time for me...as well as for others. In empathetic community--free of fixing and "get well quick" blurts--we graced one another with listening prayer, acceptance, safety, and freedom. In messy imperfection. And it was not only "okay", but redeeming. The light shone in. Beyond words...

Reminded me of something I wrote a while back. (See in the right hand column) Do you identify with it on any level? How has shame affected you?

“You shouldn’t feel that way” or “You’re not tired. Your sister still has energy.” or “We can’t stop for a bathroom break now. You don’t have to go that bad, anyway” or even “You should pray like your cousin does.”

Comments like these may sound familiar. Perhaps you’ve been shamed into doubting your emotions, perceptions, desires or needs, causing you to lose your sense of individuality.

“Each of us is surrounded by external sources of shame. These vary, of course,” write David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen in The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse. “Families where people are called names or compared, or where parents have their needs met by the performance of the children, instill messages of shame in their members.” The authors contend that even billboards, magazine ads and television commercials shame us by promising ways to make us more valuable, lovable or capable.

As wise God-seekers, we can cease sacrificing who we are for the sake of another’s ego-needs or our own desire for protection from negative reaction. Although God has unlimited power, He never victimizes us to prove it. Instead, He treats us with respect and love. He’s worth trusting—even imperfectly.

Lord, I think I’ve allowed others and their opinions to make my decisions for me. I don’t want to do that anymore. Instead I want to enter into authentic, freedom-producing and shame-decreasing relationships with safe people who trust and love You. It seems a little risky. (Who am I kidding?) It's a lot risky. I'm leaning into You for help.

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"Time-Outs" Are Not Just for Grumpy Kids

How Does Shame Affect You?

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