Joan C. Webb
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   Joan's BLOG

Escaping the Procrastination Trap

9/30/2013

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Maybe you’re tired of your inner “shoulda-woulda-coulda” voice, but you’d never call yourself a perfectionist because you tend to procrastinate. Guess what? Perfectionism (trying too hard to make it just right) and procrastination (deciding to do something and then not doing it) are like first cousins who pretend they aren’t related. 

As a procrastinating perfectionist, you may not finish a job application, take that vacation, or organize your closet. You may avoid creating new friendships, singing in the choir, or calling a counselor, because you’re afraid of making a mistake, being laughed at, failing others—or yourself. Delaying decisions becomes a habit. Although it may seem like a laid-back approach to life, it’s often painful and limiting.

You can change your procrastinating tendencies. Just starting is a step out of the procrastination trap.  

1.     Instead of expecting to be the best (employee, parent, musician, you fill in the blank ________) in comparison to everyone else, commit to become the best version of yourself.

2.     Limit all-or-nothing thinking. Choose your favorite color (deep red, ocean blue, sunshine yellow?) and the next time you feel stuck and start to procrastinate, brainstorm your options in that color instead of mere black and white. You do have choices.

3.     When you’re tempted to procrastinate and postpone another task because it seems too hard or time-consuming, set the timer for 20 minutes. When the alarm sounds you can walk away or re-set for another 20.

4.     Find a caring accountability partner who’ll listen to your frustrations without judging or trying to fix you and your procrastinating ways and then who will celebrate with you when you succeed. 

5.     Stand up to the shoulda-woulda-coulda tyrant in your head. Tell him to sit down and hush because you can make progress without him!

Just as you develop physical muscle by consistently exercising your body, you can develop mental/emotional muscle by consistently practicing these and other anti-procrastination exercises. Freedom, here you come.



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Are You An Adrenaline Junkie?

9/22/2013

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You really love this, don’t you? You’re so animated when you’re busy working. Although my client meant this as a compliment, I gagged when I heard her words. To me, they represented a lifestyle I’d tried to ditch. Anything that reminded me of my excessive behavior felt like a punch in the gut. I get a high when rushing, working and finding solutions. 

I am an adrenaline junkie. What do I mean? 
  • Experts say that action-addiction is both a process and a substance addiction. We get a high when we over-do, over-rush—or even over-help. As long as the chemical keeps flowing, we medicate our past or current distress. 
  • Incidentally, some action-addicts appear motionless at times, but their minds are racing.
  • Normally hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline release when we sense there’s a threat to our well-being. It’s the “Fight or Flight Response” and it produces a shot of energy, giving us strength to cope with frightening situations. Heart rate escalates, digestion slows, and blood flow forces to our muscles. Our bodies return to their natural state of relaxation when the real or perceived threat passes. 
  • Yet when we’re addicted to action, we remain in chronic stress-mode, causing damage to our bodies. Initially, symptoms are fairly mild like chronic headaches and lowered resistance to colds. Eventually we can develop depression, panic attacks, gum disease, unexplained weight gain, diabetes, stomach problems and even heart disease. Who wants that?
  • Yet doctors agree that there is a pandemic of action-addiction in our world today. Author Anne Wilson Schaef writes, “What belief have we accepted that suggests that, if we are not rushing and hurrying, we have no meaning?” 
  • An often effective treatment for action-addiction includes identifying and modifying our negative thought patterns. For example, modification of the above misbelief can become: I am a valuable person, even when I quit working and helping to relax. 
This all reminds me of something the wisest man who ever lived wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:6, "Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind." When I continually run, chase, rush after stuff--even if it is very good and helpful stuff--I whiz past tranquility in the pursuit. When I pause to breath deeply, enjoy God, myself and others (without trying to fix them), I shake hands with tranquility again. Ahhhh. 

What helps you become friends with tranquility again? 

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Addicted to Action

9/15/2013

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“I know I’m late. But I don’t feel like I’m being productive or that I’ve achieved my goals unless I’m rushing and at least a half-hour late for each appointment,” said my client as he burst through the door and sprinted past me toward our conference room.

My internal reaction was: Well, Vic, you must feel a great sense of accomplishment today! He had arrived one and a half hours past our scheduled appointment time. Although I didn’t share his philosophy, something in his behavior rang a bell with me. Perhaps I was in awareness-mode, because several weeks later I admitted my own workaholic lifestyle. I was burned-out and wanted to change.

Slowly I began to understand that the narrower definition of a workaholic is someone who is addicted to action. An action addict (like Vic and me) is driven to do too much, expect too much, rush too much and prove too much. Some refer to it as the “hurry sickness.” It can happen to either gender, yet Dr. Brent W. Bost, an obstetrician-gynecologist in Beaumont, Texas estimates that there are 30 million women in America who are so over-scheduled and over-stressed that it negatively affects their physical health, sex life, jobs, and relationships.

The next time someone gives you the ultimate compliment for an action-addict: “You’re so busy. How do you do it all?” consider letting that be a signal to STOP. The antidote to action-addiction is to cease doing for a while. Be quiet. Rest. It will feel wrong. Your body, mind and emotions tell you that you must keep going. 

This advice to cease doing for a while reminds me of Psalm 46:10 in The Message: “[Stop!] Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”

Experts insist that this is a vital step, just as it is important for the alcoholic-addicted person to stop drinking. Your body needs to detox from the chemicals aroused by your constant action. It will be quite difficult--and so worth it. For more information about action-addiction watch for next week's blog “Are You an Adrenaline Junkie?”


What would it take for you to STOP for a while?


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Fight Procrastination Day!

9/7/2013

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Yesterday was "Fight Procrastination Day" and I procrastinated in posting this blog to my site. Does that mean I put the "PRO" in procrastination? 

The dictionary indicates that to procrastinate means to defer action, to delay until an opportunity is lost. Dr. Ellis, a counselor who specializes in the issue of procrastination, defines procrastination as deciding to do something and then not doing it.  

Now, I want to clarify something. Delay and procrastination are not the same thing. There may be a legitimate reason for a delay. Procrastination is "to delay until it is too late."   

For example, say you received the brochure for a conference related to your field of interest. You read it, the workshops looked beneficial to you and you made the decision to go. But then you set the info aside and put off following through by calling to ask your questions, checking your calendar and registering...until it was too late. Then the day of the conference arrived and the opportunity was gone. You missed it.   

If this is your modus operandi and you really want to do it differently, there is hope. You can change. 
  1. Decide you don't want to live this way anymore. Acknowledge your need to someone who will listen and help you stay accountable.
  2. Discover and admit the misconceptions that lead to your procrastination. (For example: I've got to do perfectly or not at all.)
  3. Replace your misconception with the truth. (For example: Perfection on this earth is not possible. Only God is perfect. I need only do the best I can at any given time and even that might fluctuate.)
  4. As a Christian, you can then surrender the entire journey to God and trust that He is able to guide you through the changing process.
  5. Remain committed to your decision for new habits and attitudes. Keep walking through the fear that often accompanies any unfamiliar process of positive change.

And here are 10 practical tips for ceasing to put the "PRO" in procrastination. (Not in order of importance)
  •   Accept (or start) a new major project only when you have released an existing one.
  •   Set mini-goals when working on an extended project. Some call it "chunk-a-sizing." Then the entire long-term goal      does not hang over your head continually.
  •   Stop the negative thought patterns that throws the "misconception" in your face. Develop a system that works for    you.
  •   Delegate the workload.
  •   Become friends with "time."
  •   Ask questions. Ask for help. Then accept it. 
  •   Cultivate a support system.
  •   Learn to say "no" as well as "yes."
  •   Remember that less is sometimes more.
  •   Recognize and accept your limitations. (Even Jesus couldn't be in two places at once while here on this earth.) 

Which tip will you try this week?


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    Joan C. Webb

    Writing, teaching, coaching to empower and set free.
    Joan is an inspirational speaker, Bible teacher, Life Coach, and author of 13 books including It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life, The Relief of Imperfection, The Intentional Woman. She does consulting, as well as Life Coaching, for writers, speakers, ministry leaders and entrepreneurs.

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"Are you tired? Come to me. ...Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
​Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)

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  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
    • Nourishment for New Moms
    • The Intentional Woman
    • The Relief of Imperfection
    • It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life
    • Everyday Wisdom
    • Devotions for Little Boys and Girls
    • Meditations for Christians Who Try to Be Perfect
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