Joan C. Webb
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   Joan's BLOG

Stuffing Legitimate Anger in the Name of Love?

8/30/2011

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Anger is a normal human response to a real or perceived wrong, inequity, or injustice. Yet for most of my life, I believed that if I loved unselfishly I would never get angry. So I consistently refused to be upset. Of course, I was angry when someone treated me (or someone I love) poorly, but I called it by another name such as oversensitivity and pushed it down.

Consequently, it was incredibly challenging for me to even admit my anger. (Well, that’s an understatement!)

Yet when anger is stuffed in the name of love and spirituality, it usually leads to resentment. Resentment left to seethe inside is self-destructive. Anger often signals a hidden hurt. When recovering from my burnout, to initially deal with my resentment I chose to talk with a safe and caring person to release some of the hurt.

Eventually I confronted the person who I felt was at the root of my anger. It took courage. God helped me to value the constructive role that an honest look at anger would have in my relationship with Him and others. He wanted me to be free from energy-draining resentment.

CURRENTLY, I’m reminding myself of this. I think I might have some squashed down anger in a corner of my soul. I want to “un-squash” it, let it out, and set that part of my soul free. So I’m asking myself (and God) what my next step is.

What have you done to set yourself free from your legitimate anger? Perhaps what you share will help me–and others? 

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Hurry Up!

8/24/2011

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Tired of the constant media-message to hurry up and accomplish more?

Ralph Keyes, author of Timelock: How Life Got So Hectic and What You Can Do About It, suggests that “we plan life, not time” so our daily lives can become less frenetic. He believes that deciding what we want most from life and weeding out activities that detract from our goals will help us feel more balanced.

You only have one earthly life. So do I. I don’t know about you, but this reality can give me a super-urgency to rush to make a difference. I think sometimes I’ve believed that God wants me to do more, be more, and make a bigger splash for Him. I certainly don’t want to be lazy.

Yet today I’m contemplating the possibility that God does not push us (me) to fill every moment of this life with planned activity. That gets so exhausting and blah-producing. I think I sense Him encouraging me to be discerning and to handle my minutes, hours, and days with wisdom, gratitude, and compassion.

David, the national leader/military officer/writer/musician/husband/father/friend and all-around imperfect guy asked God to “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

Lord, like David, I long for a heart of wisdom. I’m tired of rushing to achieve more, yet getting farther behind. Teach me to wisely balance my days as we plan my life together.

Just wondering: Am I the only one who often feels perpetually behind? 

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Do You Ever Burn the Candle at Both Ends?

8/16/2011

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Hope for the Tired

As I tried to climb out of the deep pit of burnout, I loved this Old Testament verse. It gave me HOPE then, as it does now. “If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, . . . then your light will rise in the darkness. . . . The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.” Isaiah 58:9-11

“When you burn both ends of a candle, it may produce twice as much light, but the candle burns out twice as fast. People experiencing burnout suddenly discover that all of their mental, emotional and physical energies have been consumed,” writes management expert, Myron Rush. Perhaps you’ve noticed this “I can do it all” phenomenon in your own life or in the lives of leaders you know. Sometimes it leads to shaming-blaming behavior. But God says there’s hope for the overwhelmed and tired.

Have you seen the effects of a forest fire? Once-luscious trees stand barren. Formerly lush wildflowers become parched. Yet God’s handiwork and time can replenish what the flames have stolen.

And God will replenish His exhausted children, too. When you give Him control, He promises to meet your heart’s sun-scorched needs and give you hope-filled strength for the healing process.










Have you ever caught yourself burning the candle at both ends?

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Where’s the Relief in That Imperfect Project?

8/10/2011

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People, families, children, organizations, churches, schools, bodies, emotions, and projects don’t have the capacity to be perfect 24/7. And now I have another illustration that illustrates this truth!

I just spent several hours creating this week’s blog–photos and all, only to LOSE IT ALL! It was a nice blog about the daily news, economic worries, grandchildren, tears, okay-ness and ice cream.

And there’s no time to re-do it because I’m “leaving on a jet-plane.” Okay now I’ve not only lost my blog, but my mind is slipping, too… I’m reverting to singing “Golden Oldies.”

I think I’ll go read a few chapters in that book titled The Relief of Imperfection by Joan C. Webb. I think I need it, especially since I just discovered the “photo” feature in this blog program isn’t working, either! Time to shut down my computer and go finish packing for my trip!

Now the tags and categories don’t work. Am I chuckling yet? Actually I am!

Well, when’s the last time you had an “imperfect” project like this one! 

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That Love/Hate Relationship with Marketing

8/1/2011

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I have a love/hate relationship with MARKETING. A reoccurring tug-of-war in my head and heart. I want others to read the relief-producing messages in my books, move past their status-quo to know God more and live as the person they were designed to be.

But I regularly begrudge the time, energy, and focus it takes to market/promote/publicize. I’d rather be creating, studying scripture, researching, coaching and well, writing.

Yet I’ve promised my publishers, agent and myself that I’ll market so I do—and will continue. It can be fun. But I don’t like that it takes such a huge % of my time. Sometimes it works, books sell and the word gets out. I do love it when people read and partner with God for transformation. Thus the love/hate relationship.

I’m often overwhelmed by all the marketing possibilities, with the myriads of how-to books/workshops/blogs/conferences/advice. None of us can do it all. So here are 10 specific marketing methods that have worked—at times—for me:

  1. Mail gift-copies of the book (with a personal letter) to strategic ministry and business people that you know. (Yes, it costs. Sometimes pub houses will help.)
  2. Create a website and start to blog regularly. Share guest blogging with friends and colleagues. It broadens your base.
  3. Cooperate with your publishers’ team to do interviews (all kinds.) Learn talking points and find a brief story to illustrate each point. Stand up during the interview if possible; increases energy. (Often Amazon sales increased after an interview with larger station.)
  4. Join social networking like Facebook and others. (When a fellow-author told me that I really needed to “do Twitter”, I cringed. But I started with 0 and grew slowly to 1260 followers. Now I’m told I need 10,000. See the push/pull? Still I’ve gained readers, clients and friends.)
  5. Consider doing a Blog Book Tour.* You will enlarge your online base.
  6. Develop a contact list and email regular newsletters (when speaking/teaching, offer a book drawing and ask each person to indicate if they’d like to receive more tips from you.) Constant Contact and Monkey Chimp are two.
  7. Distribute business cards with the name/cover of your latest book.
  8. Get a 2-3 minute video (some call it a book trailer.) Use it to market on You-Tube, your website, for prospective speaking events, etc. (Push/pull: Nice to have, yet it hasn’t produced like I’d hoped. Spent bucks, too.)
  9. Speak/share on your book topics. I beat myself up for “not doing enough marketing” when it dawned on me that speaking, teaching, presenting, and facilitating workshops equals marketing. I love “economy of effort!” You don’t have to speak for mega-audiences. Think outside the box. For example: Offer a 4-6 week lunchtime tele-class based on your book. Free conference.com makes it easy.
  10. Do book signings. Warning: huge push/pull here. Book signings are often a disappointment (and humiliation) to authors. Except when the book signing is in the same room where you just finished speaking. This works!
Through the years I’ve continued to have this love/hate relationship with “marketing.” I repeatedly looked for something else to call it in order to trick my mind into believing it wasn’t robbing me of the precious time I’d rather be writing and ministering.

THEN last week I read the prayer of Jabez again. “Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory.” (1 Chronicles 4:9-10) The first time I saw Jabez’ story was when I wrote study notes for 5 O.T. books in the Women of Faith Study Bible. God urged me to pray the prayer, even before Bruce Wilkinson’s book hit the bookshelves. Four weeks later a Christian relief and development organization asked me to travel alone to Kyrgyzstan to work on enlarging their work there. What? Yet since I’d been praying for expansion, I didn’t doubt God’s leading and agreed to go.

Reading the Jabez story again, I had an aha. God saw my marketing resistance/angst. And He gave me a new name for it: EXPANSION. I’m going to change my to-do list categories to expanding instead of marketing. It’s already lessening my inner tug-of-war.

I’m curious: Do you ever experience a similar marketing tug-of-war? What helps you?

* http://www.joancwebbblog.com/bookstore/imperfect-blog-tour/


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    Joan C. Webb

    Writing, teaching, coaching to empower and set free.
    Joan is an inspirational speaker, Bible teacher, Life Coach, and author of 13 books including It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life, The Relief of Imperfection, The Intentional Woman. She does consulting, as well as Life Coaching, for writers, speakers, ministry leaders and entrepreneurs.

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"Are you tired? Come to me. ...Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
​Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)

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  • Home
  • Blog
  • Books
    • Nourishment for New Moms
    • The Intentional Woman
    • The Relief of Imperfection
    • It's a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life
    • Everyday Wisdom
    • Devotions for Little Boys and Girls
    • Meditations for Christians Who Try to Be Perfect
    • Joan's Writing Contributions
  • Life Coaching
    • Life Coaching Brochure
    • What Others Say about Life Coaching
    • LifePlan Brochure
  • Intentional Woman
    • The Intentional Woman Mission/Vision
    • The Intentional Woman Authors
    • IW LifePlan
  • Freebies
  • Joan's Promo Page
  • What Others Say about Joan's Speaking/Teaching
  • Connect with Joan
    • About Joan
    • Listen to Joan