After your Mother's Day celebration, you may be back to your regular mommy-routine, wondering how you can do your mom-role in the way that fits you best. When it comes to life and time management as a mother, it can be helpful to consider your personality style. For a brief overview of how you approach managing your life and time, answer these simple questions. Circle (in your mind) the questions or statements that best describe you. Read each of the couplet questions below and think about which most represents what you prefer to do. A1. Are you recharged by activity, interaction, and conversation with others? OR A2. Do you gain renewed energy by being and working alone or one-on-one and by writing down your thoughts? B1. Do you like to make immediate decisions and have a motto something like “Let’s get going. We’ve got lots to do.” Do you feel stressed when you’re forced to slow down and do nothing for extended periods of time? OR B2. Are you more comfortable discovering all the possibilities and reflecting before you decide and have a motto similar to “If something’s worth doing, it’s worth taking time and doing it well.” Do you get physically and emotionally drained when you feel pushed into including too many fast-paced activities on your calendar for too long? C1. Would you rather focus on the facts and figures about a problem/issue and like to organize your agenda and stick to the plan? OR C2. Do you notice your feelings easily, like to tell stories, and focus on what others are doing and feeling before you try to figure out solutions? GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK After reflecting on your answers to the above questions, what would you say about your mommy-self right now? Remember, whatever you surmise at the current time is not set in stone. You’re an adaptable woman, and you just might think and react differently at another season of your life. Give yourself a break. When I sat my sleep-deprived mommy-self down years ago and asked, “Well, Joan, what do you need right now?” My spontaneous response was “a little spiral notebook”* to write down when I last nursed my baby girl and to record my needs and grocery items as I thought of them. Pretty simple, huh? I kept it in a pocket or on a table where I fed the baby. Now it’s your turn. When it comes to your current mom time-schedule related issues, what do you need? What’s the first thing that pops into your brain? Nothing? Well, then, what’s the second thing that pops into you mind? There are no right-or-wrong responses to these questions, so relax. Move away from the it’s-either-black-or-white thinking. When it comes to scheduling and timing in your motherhood role, do what works for you and your family. What did you discover about your mom-role? * That was a long time ago. I might decide to use my iPhone for this now!!)
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Mom, your life has changed! (You're probably saying under your breath, NO KIDDING!) You have a lot to manage. Your situation is not exactly like your best friend’s circumstances. You have unique needs and so does your family. You don't have to do your mothering like anyone else -- even those you admire greatly. You can STOP the Mom-Comparison-Game and set grace-filled goals that match YOU and your family. It's okay with God to slow it down and do what fits you. “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. . . . Don’t compare yourself with others. "Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life” (Galatians 6:4–5 MSG). You’re the Mom; God’s Your Helper. The following suggestions are designed to assist you in discovering your unique motherhood needs:
Which of these suggestions will YOU try this week? Adapted from an excerpt in Nourishment for New Moms by Joan C. Webb. GIVE YOURSELF OR ANOTHER MOTHER THIS SPECIAL GIFT FOR MOTHER'S DAY! Find the answers and encouragement you need to tackle this life-altering transition in the sage advice, practical strategies, and biblically based pointers in my book Nourishment for New Moms. It's sure to help you survive the challenges of motherhood--with grace, poise and humor intact. |
Joan C. WebbWriting, teaching, coaching to empower and set free. |